Time

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. 

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

What is the most precious commodity after money? Time. The argument could be made time is more precious than money. While you can always make more money, you cannot get time back. Every single second ticking by is lost forever into the clock we have programmed into our DNA.

It’s funny because the very concept of this blog is what I have been struggling with. Believing I have more time, then the day is gone, and I am left with the next. I’ve done it to myself multiple times this week. My parents went to the mountains for their anniversary and I wanted to surprise them with a clean house when they returned. I thought I could do it all on Saturday, and my plans were interrupted, and I kept thinking I would have enough time. I didn’t.

While I made up for it on Sunday, I still felt like ‘if only I had enough time’. I’ve been doing that the last couple of days. I have the blog posts all planned out, waiting to be written on my browser. My book is waiting for me to write a couple more chapters. I should have started the search for a new job. I believe it is important to take a break from being productive sometimes. Specifically in my ‘industry’ of book writing, sometimes a break is what I need for creativity to flow.

Except what I have been doing for the past couples days is straight procrastination. Finding other things to do to run down the clock until the time is gone. I admit it is partially because I am in a ‘low’ right now according to my monthly cycle (which may be too TMI for some of y’all, but I am not going to apologize for being transparent.) However, it really has hit me.

I was praying and thinking about the next couple of blog posts. When I am feeling low, I do not want to write blog posts. It is difficult not to feel like a fraud when you are posting from a faceless site, and even struggling in faith or life.

To continue in transparency, this whole world failing thing is really dragging me down. Not just the pandemic. The riots and racism and murders and trafficking and church persecution and what happened in Lebanon. It is hard to want to keep fighting to look for the good in a world that just seems so bad.

It is hard to feel like you can have an impact.

While I would be more than happy for the world to end, I also struggle with the feeling of needing more time. Time to tell people about Jesus. Yet, what do I do with my time now? Squabble it away.

I have often thought and reflected on how I would act, what I would do, if I knew my time on earth were coming to a close. What would I do? What would I say? Who would I change? I know for a fact I would not be as cautious with money. I would help people more. Give them more money. Be more open and less afraid of being hurt or vulnerable.

We always want more time, but what would happen if we didn’t have the time? If we knew when our days would end. I have seen a lot of books with the concept of this. People having numbers above their heads of days. Hourglasses on their wrists like a tattoo. People are obsessed with the idea about time.

Well we are on the clock people. The moment you were born, you were put on a clock. The world is on a clock. As someone who struggles with deep thinking which dwindles down to darkness, it is a difficult thing to consider. The idea of time being so broad a concept yet something binding us all. It is terrifying to know one day you could just not wake up, or you could be driving and the next seeing the Father (although that sounds pretty fabulous if we’re being honest.)

As a Christian, the fear is gone. Fear of what comes afterwards anyway. I have to admit, I mourn even now for the day I die which is so stupid if we’re really thinking about it. Mourning for the end of time, wasting what precious time I have now. It’s a conundrum.

I feel my heart break for the people I leave behind. For some time, I made a ‘game’ with friends of mine that when we were alone and running out of topics, we would talk about our greatest fears. The ones keeping us up at night. Mine has been and I assume always will be, going to heaven with regrets.

Wondering how I could have used the time better? Who will I have to see on Judgement Day knowing I could have fought harder for them to know about God?

See we like to think we will have a tomorrow. We like to say ‘I’ll do it later’. People even do this when it comes to eternity. I met someone who said they would live their life, make their ‘mistakes’ and they would eventually decide to commit to God when they were good and ready.

The problem is what happens if your good and ready is shattered. What happens when that drunk driver hits you? Or you have a heart attack?

I get this is so terrifying and it is the kind of realization that can put someone into a panic or turn their life to crisis.

It is why God is so important because He makes every second worth it.

We do not have to be afraid of time with Him because He is in control. Our days may be numbered but they are filled by His hand. I just caution those and even myself when we suggest we will always have more time, because one day we won’t have the time and then we are left with a world of regrets.

Time is precious and we have to make every second count. So, tell your family you love them. Forgive. Change your life. Change someone else’s. Life is way too short for us to be caught up in the ‘what ifs’. You may be thinking it is impossible but God is the impossible. He makes it all possible.

His Almighty power is everything compared to what in reality is our frailty. There is a time for everything, including death, and it is God who guides us through it. So whether this is a kick in the butt to get your eyes opened and your spirit going, or a moment of peace to remind you God’s behind you, I pray God brings this across your dash in a timely manner (haha, see what I did there?)

The time is now guys.

It is time to go to God. Time to mend broken relationships. Time to break from bad habits. We all have that one thing that God has been pressing on us to do, or we know we need to, to move on. Mine is writing blog posts. Thank the Lord I had the time to write this.

I admit the reason I finally got my butt in gear is because I was watching Netflix and I was like ‘what if I die before I get to write this’? Great question, so now if I do die, y’all can know this point is really driven home.

God thank you for time. For being outside of this bind we are in. You see more than we ever could. You know our timers and yet we can be so sure and peaceful in you because ultimately you are in power. Thank you for watching over us. For guiding us and taking care of us. You are so good.

Father I pray you would teach us to know the truth depth of time. To love freely. To forgive in abundance. To give mercy and grace without a thought. Guarding our hearts but sharing them. Lord turn us into the kind of Disciples who live life as if it is already gone to God. Time ultimately has nothing on you. It is a grain of sand in the sea to you. Thank you for being greater God.

I commit my time to you Father. Use it for what you can. Bring me further onto the waters so I can spread my love and teach. Give me a gracious heart. Lord as I return to you, I pray I would never regret it. I pray I would be able to bring your children to you. Use me.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

God bless you guys! Use your time wisely.

~ Ashley

P.S. Ecclesiastes says it. There is a time to embrace and a time not to embrace. This is a time not to embrace guys. Six feet apart, masks on, and let’s pray and work for this to go away.